Since I started my weight loss journey this past February, I've dropped my BMI by 10.4 points! Just figure that out....that's awesome!!!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Progress in Round 2
Well, today is technically Day 3 for me back on juicing. I've already lost 7.4 pounds...but I know that's just water weight mostly.
But, I'm feeling it! The last time I juiced, around Day 4ish I started feeling yucky...they call it a 'Healing Crisis' because your body is literally trying to get rid of all the toxins and bad stuff from itself. You can feel feverish or tired or even have flu like symptoms. Last time I noticed all that day I was really tired and sluggish then later that night I got super cold...I had the worst case of the chills! But I went to bed early and slept it off and woke up feeling better than I've felt in a really long time!
Today, I'm starting to feel some of those things again. Right now I'm feeling really tired and heavy...like I just want to sink into a bed and sleep! And I'm really torn because tonight is the water class that I LOVE!!! I really really really want to go!! It's such a great workout! But, I just have no energy. It may be best for me to go home and rest.
Anyway...hopefully this'll be as bad as it gets and I'll sleep it off tonight! This is the worst part of juicing for me...but as soon as I can get over the hump it'll be smooth sailing!
Till next time...
-M-
But, I'm feeling it! The last time I juiced, around Day 4ish I started feeling yucky...they call it a 'Healing Crisis' because your body is literally trying to get rid of all the toxins and bad stuff from itself. You can feel feverish or tired or even have flu like symptoms. Last time I noticed all that day I was really tired and sluggish then later that night I got super cold...I had the worst case of the chills! But I went to bed early and slept it off and woke up feeling better than I've felt in a really long time!
Today, I'm starting to feel some of those things again. Right now I'm feeling really tired and heavy...like I just want to sink into a bed and sleep! And I'm really torn because tonight is the water class that I LOVE!!! I really really really want to go!! It's such a great workout! But, I just have no energy. It may be best for me to go home and rest.
Anyway...hopefully this'll be as bad as it gets and I'll sleep it off tonight! This is the worst part of juicing for me...but as soon as I can get over the hump it'll be smooth sailing!
Till next time...
-M-
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Round 2
This is a little better! Didn't take me as long to post another update this time!! LOL!
The ladies in my office at work and I have decided to do a little competition of our own. Everyone will put in $15 into a hat. The competition starts today and ends on August 20th, 2012. We will do weekly weigh in's. And the person who loses the most pounds by the last day will win all the money in the hat. Then, we'll put money in again and go for another month! :D
Extra cash?!?!? That's enough competition for me!
So, what's my plan?!
I've discovered these really great juices...made by Bolthouse Farms. They are 100% real and natural...basically, someone has done all the juicing for me and put it in a bottle! Seriously! Plus they've been enhanced with certain vitamins...but there are no big long words you can't pronounce. It seriously is just fruits and veggies juiced and packaged. I LOVE THAT!!!!!!! All the benefits without any of the clean up!!! HELLZ YEAH!!!!
Anyway, I'm going to basically be juicing again, except I'll be making the juice into a smoothie by just adding ice and blending it all up. Nothing else added outside of the juice and ice.
One thing I really worried about with juicing was that I'd lose the weight, then when I stopped juicing I'd gain it all back. Well, I've been off juicing for more than a month now, and while I've not lost anything more really, I haven't gained any of it back. As a matter of fact, I believe a large reason I haven't lost is because of muscle gain. I can tell major differences in parts of my body that will testify to that.
It all comes down to eating right and moving! Really...it's not hard. But if you're like me,...or like I was, you sort of roll your eyes when someone says "all you have to do to lose weight or feel better is eat right and exercise." You use excuse after excuse as to why you've not been able to lose weight, or why you've lost weight then gained it back (and then some). But that's all those things are...excuses. And frankly speaking, you just don't value yourself enough to make yourself worth the hard work.
I speak from experience.
I'm the world's greatest expert on 'How to Devalue Yourself'...but I'm giving up that title. It's pointless and unmotivating and DUMB! Don't be like I was...there are people in your world that LOVE you and want you around for as long as possible. Don't rob them of yourself just because you can't do without that triple cheeseburger or king size snickers or supersized soda. Do you see what I mean? Food isn't of value here...YOU ARE! I am.
Besides, maybe once you get moving you'll stop thinking of it as exercise and start seeing it as fun. I've started going to the water aerobics classes at the Wellness Center and I love them! They're FUN for me and I'm getting one hell of a workout! I also still do the elliptical and weight machines as well, because that's even fun for me.
My body has sort of turned into a science experiment of sorts. I know the things I've done, and I've seen results from it...how far can I push my body? How many changes can I affect? How much can I do?
Bottom line is, I (and you) am never going to be happy with anything in my life until I (and you) can find happiness within ourselves. But I'm never going to get there if I don't stop sabotaging myself by eating the wrong things and not being active. I've come a long way since I began on February 28th this year, and I have a ways to go...but I WILL get there. Mark my words. I will make it to my goal. I will be stronger and better and happier and healthier than I've ever been...and it'll be because I valued myself enough to put in the hard work.
Till next time...
-M-
Friday, July 13, 2012
Long Awaited Update??
I just realized that I haven't updated my blog in a while!! Man, every time I try to keep a log of something I always fall down on keeping it updated regularly. So,...let me catch you up...
The competition at my work ended, and I finished in 2nd place with a total of 17.37% body loss and a total of 60 pounds gone. WAH-HOO!! :D I worked really hard over that 3 month span and my hard work paid off. Now I have a 6 month free membership to the Health and Wellness Center at my disposal!! I feel good about what I was able to do!
But, just because the competition is over, doesn't mean I'm done! I still have goals to reach and I'm still working hard to reach them.
It's been kind of weird because since the end of the competition a few weeks ago, I haven't really lost anymore weight. I haven't gained anything either...so I'm maintaining what I've already accomplished which is really great!!! No boom-a-rang pounds for this girl!! But I have noticed more definition and toning in certain parts of my body...like my arms, my sides, and my legs. I've been going to the gym like crazy...running on the elipticle, using the weight machines, and I've started going to some water aerobic classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday's. I've been doing some research on what exercises done in a period of about an hour help you burn the most calories. Usually I run on the elipticle for anywhere from 20-30 minutes at a time...doing that I burn anywhere from 250-350 calories. The weight machines I spend probably half an hour to 45 minutes on doing arms, core, back, legs, and stomach...not really sure how many calories I burn doing that, but I can definitely say I know I've been gaining a lot of muscle which may be why I've not seen a decrease in my overall pounds. But these water aerobic classes, they last an hour long and I'm telling you, we work so hard in those classes! Running underwater!!!! Oh my gosh!!! Try it! It's hard, but so worth it!! In the water classes that I spend an hour in, I burn anywhere from 600-800 calories. It's hard for me to justify spending those hours doing anything else if there a water aerobics class being offered.
I can see changes in my body, I can feel the changes too. I've always felt solid and strong, but now I feel really strong, and really solid. I've never thought of myself as a 'skinny mini'...I don't really even want that. I like the athletic, muscular look...and that's where I've always envisioned myself getting to. I just wish I could get my mind to catch up with the changes I've made in my body so far. I'd be lying to you if I said I don't still struggle some days with my self image. I think I will probably always battle that, though I'm thinking positively that I will get some relief from it as time goes on.
It's funny too, cause when I'm at the gym working out, I LOVE it!! Like, I really love how it makes me feel...strong and accomplished...and usually when I know I'm really working hard and my heart rate is up and I know I'm getting a good workout in, I also get really angry for some reason. Maybe it's the endorphins? or adrenaline?...I'm not sure...but I do get angry...then I get mad that I'm even having to work this hard now...I get mad that I've allowed myself to get to where I am...I try to spin a positive thought in it and think about how far I've already come...but then immediately think how much farther I have to go. I'm also pretty impatient with it too I guess...and I think maybe that's why I get mad sometimes. I'm working so hard everyday and I'm just ready to be where I want to be. I want it to happen and just be done. But that's unrealistic. The best things in life are worth waiting for and working for...this will be a highlight of my life...so long as I just stick with it! And as long as I'm being realistic with myself, I have to also force myself to remember that I can't just get to where I want to get and 'be done'...these are forever committments I'm making to myself.
When I started this journey this past February 28th, I committed myself to a year of really working hard,...really getting dirty with myself and pushing my body to it's limits and making some changes. I have lost 60 pounds so far. And of that, I'm really proud.
I have a goal to lose a total of 80 pounds by my birthday this year (November 26th) and a total of 100 pounds by my one year anniversary of starting this journey this coming February 28th, 2013.
It's not easy. Seriously. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's also the thing I've wanted for the longest and that makes it really worth it to me. Funny how you just wake up one day and realize that if you're ever gonna get what you want that YOU have to be the one to just do it!!! Basic truth here people...nothing's gonna just happen FOR you if you don't get off your butt and help it happen!! Love you,...but that's a TRUTH!!! OWN IT!!
There's no telling what the next few months will bring to me. I can't imagine what changes there will be in my body...I'm just going to keep my nose down and work hard to get the best results I can possibly manage.
As far as diet, I'm not juicing anymore of course. But I have maintained a healthy diet of mostly fruits and vegetables and smoothies. I have shrimp occasionally in a wrap or something with lots of spinach leaves, homemade humus, carrots, beans, etc. I also do peanut butter wraps if I'm needing something really quick for on the go. I also have splurged a couple of times on sushi (LOVE sushi!!!). And I'm adding other things into my diet like unsalted, roasted nuts or whole grains (the Kashi brand shredded wheat cereal is AWESOME as a dry snack during the day! Very filling and not very many calories). And I'm really just drinking water all the time. The more water I drink the less water my body retains...funny how that works, huh? :D
I'm also reading a lot. About nutrition and strength training. I'm trying to really educate myself about all the things I should probably already know. EDUCATION IS THE KEY!!! LEARN STUFF PEOPLE!!! :D
Anyway, this entry has already gotten much longer than I expected it would! LOL! I promise to try an update a little more regularly...hopefully...maybe... ;P
Till next time...
-M-
The competition at my work ended, and I finished in 2nd place with a total of 17.37% body loss and a total of 60 pounds gone. WAH-HOO!! :D I worked really hard over that 3 month span and my hard work paid off. Now I have a 6 month free membership to the Health and Wellness Center at my disposal!! I feel good about what I was able to do!
But, just because the competition is over, doesn't mean I'm done! I still have goals to reach and I'm still working hard to reach them.
It's been kind of weird because since the end of the competition a few weeks ago, I haven't really lost anymore weight. I haven't gained anything either...so I'm maintaining what I've already accomplished which is really great!!! No boom-a-rang pounds for this girl!! But I have noticed more definition and toning in certain parts of my body...like my arms, my sides, and my legs. I've been going to the gym like crazy...running on the elipticle, using the weight machines, and I've started going to some water aerobic classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday's. I've been doing some research on what exercises done in a period of about an hour help you burn the most calories. Usually I run on the elipticle for anywhere from 20-30 minutes at a time...doing that I burn anywhere from 250-350 calories. The weight machines I spend probably half an hour to 45 minutes on doing arms, core, back, legs, and stomach...not really sure how many calories I burn doing that, but I can definitely say I know I've been gaining a lot of muscle which may be why I've not seen a decrease in my overall pounds. But these water aerobic classes, they last an hour long and I'm telling you, we work so hard in those classes! Running underwater!!!! Oh my gosh!!! Try it! It's hard, but so worth it!! In the water classes that I spend an hour in, I burn anywhere from 600-800 calories. It's hard for me to justify spending those hours doing anything else if there a water aerobics class being offered.
I can see changes in my body, I can feel the changes too. I've always felt solid and strong, but now I feel really strong, and really solid. I've never thought of myself as a 'skinny mini'...I don't really even want that. I like the athletic, muscular look...and that's where I've always envisioned myself getting to. I just wish I could get my mind to catch up with the changes I've made in my body so far. I'd be lying to you if I said I don't still struggle some days with my self image. I think I will probably always battle that, though I'm thinking positively that I will get some relief from it as time goes on.
It's funny too, cause when I'm at the gym working out, I LOVE it!! Like, I really love how it makes me feel...strong and accomplished...and usually when I know I'm really working hard and my heart rate is up and I know I'm getting a good workout in, I also get really angry for some reason. Maybe it's the endorphins? or adrenaline?...I'm not sure...but I do get angry...then I get mad that I'm even having to work this hard now...I get mad that I've allowed myself to get to where I am...I try to spin a positive thought in it and think about how far I've already come...but then immediately think how much farther I have to go. I'm also pretty impatient with it too I guess...and I think maybe that's why I get mad sometimes. I'm working so hard everyday and I'm just ready to be where I want to be. I want it to happen and just be done. But that's unrealistic. The best things in life are worth waiting for and working for...this will be a highlight of my life...so long as I just stick with it! And as long as I'm being realistic with myself, I have to also force myself to remember that I can't just get to where I want to get and 'be done'...these are forever committments I'm making to myself.
When I started this journey this past February 28th, I committed myself to a year of really working hard,...really getting dirty with myself and pushing my body to it's limits and making some changes. I have lost 60 pounds so far. And of that, I'm really proud.
I have a goal to lose a total of 80 pounds by my birthday this year (November 26th) and a total of 100 pounds by my one year anniversary of starting this journey this coming February 28th, 2013.
It's not easy. Seriously. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's also the thing I've wanted for the longest and that makes it really worth it to me. Funny how you just wake up one day and realize that if you're ever gonna get what you want that YOU have to be the one to just do it!!! Basic truth here people...nothing's gonna just happen FOR you if you don't get off your butt and help it happen!! Love you,...but that's a TRUTH!!! OWN IT!!
There's no telling what the next few months will bring to me. I can't imagine what changes there will be in my body...I'm just going to keep my nose down and work hard to get the best results I can possibly manage.
As far as diet, I'm not juicing anymore of course. But I have maintained a healthy diet of mostly fruits and vegetables and smoothies. I have shrimp occasionally in a wrap or something with lots of spinach leaves, homemade humus, carrots, beans, etc. I also do peanut butter wraps if I'm needing something really quick for on the go. I also have splurged a couple of times on sushi (LOVE sushi!!!). And I'm adding other things into my diet like unsalted, roasted nuts or whole grains (the Kashi brand shredded wheat cereal is AWESOME as a dry snack during the day! Very filling and not very many calories). And I'm really just drinking water all the time. The more water I drink the less water my body retains...funny how that works, huh? :D
I'm also reading a lot. About nutrition and strength training. I'm trying to really educate myself about all the things I should probably already know. EDUCATION IS THE KEY!!! LEARN STUFF PEOPLE!!! :D
Anyway, this entry has already gotten much longer than I expected it would! LOL! I promise to try an update a little more regularly...hopefully...maybe... ;P
Till next time...
-M-
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Halfway Mark
Here's a before photo I found of myself today....
This was taken after the St Bernard's Christmas Talent show in late December 2011...just 5 months ago...
Here's a photo of me today (5/23/12)...
If I didn't notice changes before, I definitely do today.
As of yesterday (5/22/12) I have lost 51.4 pounds total. I'm proud of that.
And stumbling upon that December photo of myself today really hit home in a new way in regards to what it is I'm doing.
It can't just be a fad...or a phase...or a stage of my life...it has to be the rest of my life. I'm nervous that I won't stick with it...I'm nervous that I'll cave and have moments of weakness that take me back to where I was in December.
I don't want that...
I don't want that more than anything.
I cried when I saw that photo of me today. I mean, that was just 5 months ago..ya know...5 measly months...and God knows how long I was there too...miserable about what I was...embarrassed to be looked at...defeated because things were just too hard.
And now, almost 90 days into my new lifestyle, there's light...it's still a long way away, but I'm starting to be able to see it.
My 6 year old nephew weighs 47lbs the last time he went to the doctor...I've lost more than what my nephew (a complete person) weighs...
I'm proud of that.
And I'm excited to keep going.
I have a lot of motivation within myself to keep going...to really see things through...my aim when I started was to get healthy...but I was also targeting the 100 number...
100 pounds off me...and mostly it in this year of I can manage. My birthday is in the end of November...my goal is to be down 80 pounds by then...that's what I'm aiming for. After that, it gives me until the following February 28th (my 1 year date) to lose another 20 totaling my big 100 pound loss.
Sounds like a big goal...but...I'm at the halfway mark already! 51.4 pounds lost!!!
And I'm gonna work hard to be sure they don't get found ever again!!!
I appreciate all of your support and encouragement in my journey...it really really does help.
Till next time...
-M-
This was taken after the St Bernard's Christmas Talent show in late December 2011...just 5 months ago...
Here's a photo of me today (5/23/12)...
If I didn't notice changes before, I definitely do today.
As of yesterday (5/22/12) I have lost 51.4 pounds total. I'm proud of that.
And stumbling upon that December photo of myself today really hit home in a new way in regards to what it is I'm doing.
It can't just be a fad...or a phase...or a stage of my life...it has to be the rest of my life. I'm nervous that I won't stick with it...I'm nervous that I'll cave and have moments of weakness that take me back to where I was in December.
I don't want that...
I don't want that more than anything.
I cried when I saw that photo of me today. I mean, that was just 5 months ago..ya know...5 measly months...and God knows how long I was there too...miserable about what I was...embarrassed to be looked at...defeated because things were just too hard.
And now, almost 90 days into my new lifestyle, there's light...it's still a long way away, but I'm starting to be able to see it.
My 6 year old nephew weighs 47lbs the last time he went to the doctor...I've lost more than what my nephew (a complete person) weighs...
I'm proud of that.
And I'm excited to keep going.
I have a lot of motivation within myself to keep going...to really see things through...my aim when I started was to get healthy...but I was also targeting the 100 number...
100 pounds off me...and mostly it in this year of I can manage. My birthday is in the end of November...my goal is to be down 80 pounds by then...that's what I'm aiming for. After that, it gives me until the following February 28th (my 1 year date) to lose another 20 totaling my big 100 pound loss.
Sounds like a big goal...but...I'm at the halfway mark already! 51.4 pounds lost!!!
And I'm gonna work hard to be sure they don't get found ever again!!!
I appreciate all of your support and encouragement in my journey...it really really does help.
Till next time...
-M-
Friday, May 18, 2012
I'm Gonna Win
I've become a gym rat of sorts!! I love going! I love getting all hot and sweaty! I love know that my time spent there doing the things I do are increasing my health-o-meter!!! That's a really great feeling!
Yesterday, the St Bernard's employee newsletter came out...and guess who's in 2nd place or the most total percentage weight loss in the Summer Slim Down competition!!! Me!!! That's right!! I was really surprised to see it this second round posting as I was 13th in the first round! But I'm really happy!! And to top it off, the person who is in 1st is only .44% ahead of me!! We have about 3 weeks left in the competition and I'm determined!!
So...where am I at to date?!
So far, I've lost 45 pounds!!! (as of last week...i wont weigh again for another week)...Which I can't hardly believe most days. Who would've thought that I would be able to say that?! I certainly never did!!
Not many people comment that they notice a difference in me though, which either means I just have so much to lose that it's gonna take a significant amount of lose for others to notice,...or people don't really want to say "OMG you've lost so much weight!!" maybe for fear of hurting my feelings for bringing up anything having to do with weight?? I don't know....
I do know though that I can tell a difference....I can tell in how my clothes are fitting...I mean, I'm literally losing my pants right an left!!! I can tell in my muscles, as in, I can actually feel muscles moving if I flex!! Haha!! I mean, I've always felt strong, and solid, I've always felt 'athletic'...now though, my body is becoming 'athletic'! And I love it!! I can see a difference in my waist and back and arms and legs...visual changes... :D I'm no where where I'd like to be, but I'm 45 pounds closer!!!
Anyway, I don't know what the next 3 weeks will include for me...I don't know how much more I'll lose or if I'll be able to break away to 1st place...but I know this much, I'm gonna literally work my ass off!
Yesterday, the St Bernard's employee newsletter came out...and guess who's in 2nd place or the most total percentage weight loss in the Summer Slim Down competition!!! Me!!! That's right!! I was really surprised to see it this second round posting as I was 13th in the first round! But I'm really happy!! And to top it off, the person who is in 1st is only .44% ahead of me!! We have about 3 weeks left in the competition and I'm determined!!
So...where am I at to date?!
So far, I've lost 45 pounds!!! (as of last week...i wont weigh again for another week)...Which I can't hardly believe most days. Who would've thought that I would be able to say that?! I certainly never did!!
Not many people comment that they notice a difference in me though, which either means I just have so much to lose that it's gonna take a significant amount of lose for others to notice,...or people don't really want to say "OMG you've lost so much weight!!" maybe for fear of hurting my feelings for bringing up anything having to do with weight?? I don't know....
I do know though that I can tell a difference....I can tell in how my clothes are fitting...I mean, I'm literally losing my pants right an left!!! I can tell in my muscles, as in, I can actually feel muscles moving if I flex!! Haha!! I mean, I've always felt strong, and solid, I've always felt 'athletic'...now though, my body is becoming 'athletic'! And I love it!! I can see a difference in my waist and back and arms and legs...visual changes... :D I'm no where where I'd like to be, but I'm 45 pounds closer!!!
Anyway, I don't know what the next 3 weeks will include for me...I don't know how much more I'll lose or if I'll be able to break away to 1st place...but I know this much, I'm gonna literally work my ass off!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Goals!!
Well, I've made it! I made it to my first big goal today. 35 pounds down!!!! WAH-HOO!!! And I'm on Day 56 of my new lifestyle. I feel really great!!!
I said that what I made it to my goals, I would let myself really splurge on things I really really like. For this goal it was a toss up between Sushi and this local BBQ shop that's PHENOMENAL!!! (It's called Shop's Open - located in the same parking lot as the liquor store right inside of Harrisburg. GO THERE and get some...it's AMAZING!!!) Anyway, when I got home tonight, my someone special had surprised me with Sushi and mixed veggies along with pecan pie for dessert!!!! I didn't go over board or anything, mostly because my stomach just won't hold the amount of food it used to be able to. But also because I recognize now how to interpret the food in front of me.
The first things I eat on the plate are the veggies. The stuff that I know contains the most nutritional bang for their buck. Fill my bell up with the best stuff, then as I feel myself getting full, indulge in the things that taste good but hold less nutritional weight. That way, there's less room for the not so great stuff to fit inside of my stomach. Smart eating!...or at least that's what I'm calling it! :D
It's been really nice to have so much support so far on my journey. And I wanted to take a moment to just say thank you to everyone who has offered support in one way or another. It feels a little like there's an amazing army of encouraging, uplifting, and cheering people behind me helping me up this mountain I've begun climbing. Your support is more valuable than I have words to explain. Thank you.
So,...now I've made it to my first goal...what's next? Well, pounds-wise my next big target goal is 50. And my yearly goal is to reach 80 pounds lost by my birthday in late November. At least by that point if I've lost close to 80, I'll feel just fine about indulging in a wonderfully home cooked Thanksgiving meal with the people I love most in this world. :D (forward thinking!!)
Mostly, my goal is to get healthier...to keep getting healthier. I'm really amazed at where I'm at so far. I looked back at the log of weigh in's I've been keeping, and I when I saw my Day 1 initial weight, I remembered what I felt like. I remembered how much I hated looking at myself. How I'd avoid mirrors or reflective windows. How I loathed the fact that people would even look at me. How I'd just eat whatever I wanted because 'it didn't really matter anyway.' How I just had sortof given up that that's how I was always going to be because that's how I always was.
I don't feel those things anymore...well, I still feel some of those things - but not as severely. And I've even taken to when seeing myself in an unflattering posture in the mirror or window, I just take it for what it is...it's just the me of right now...but I'm changing that. There's a quiet confidence that's developing with that mode of thinking that I haven't ever felt before...and I kindof dig it...I kindof dig it a lot.
My moods are better! My thinking seems clearer. I have more energy and more pep in my step. I feel accomplished after I've done my walking for the day. And I feel proud of myself. It was funny today because I was out doing my walk, and I got around the track as many times as I usually do,...but when I got to what would normally be the end of my walk I decided "I've got one more in me." And I set off around the track for one last time. As I rounded the last corner to walk up the biggest hill on the track for the last time today, the greatest of the great songs started playing on my iPod...
The song is all about making it up your mountain - whatever it is - and celebrating that you've done it. I'm not done climbing my mountain, but I'm over the first hill.
That's right folks...I fucking did it!!
I said that what I made it to my goals, I would let myself really splurge on things I really really like. For this goal it was a toss up between Sushi and this local BBQ shop that's PHENOMENAL!!! (It's called Shop's Open - located in the same parking lot as the liquor store right inside of Harrisburg. GO THERE and get some...it's AMAZING!!!) Anyway, when I got home tonight, my someone special had surprised me with Sushi and mixed veggies along with pecan pie for dessert!!!! I didn't go over board or anything, mostly because my stomach just won't hold the amount of food it used to be able to. But also because I recognize now how to interpret the food in front of me.
The first things I eat on the plate are the veggies. The stuff that I know contains the most nutritional bang for their buck. Fill my bell up with the best stuff, then as I feel myself getting full, indulge in the things that taste good but hold less nutritional weight. That way, there's less room for the not so great stuff to fit inside of my stomach. Smart eating!...or at least that's what I'm calling it! :D
It's been really nice to have so much support so far on my journey. And I wanted to take a moment to just say thank you to everyone who has offered support in one way or another. It feels a little like there's an amazing army of encouraging, uplifting, and cheering people behind me helping me up this mountain I've begun climbing. Your support is more valuable than I have words to explain. Thank you.
So,...now I've made it to my first goal...what's next? Well, pounds-wise my next big target goal is 50. And my yearly goal is to reach 80 pounds lost by my birthday in late November. At least by that point if I've lost close to 80, I'll feel just fine about indulging in a wonderfully home cooked Thanksgiving meal with the people I love most in this world. :D (forward thinking!!)
Mostly, my goal is to get healthier...to keep getting healthier. I'm really amazed at where I'm at so far. I looked back at the log of weigh in's I've been keeping, and I when I saw my Day 1 initial weight, I remembered what I felt like. I remembered how much I hated looking at myself. How I'd avoid mirrors or reflective windows. How I loathed the fact that people would even look at me. How I'd just eat whatever I wanted because 'it didn't really matter anyway.' How I just had sortof given up that that's how I was always going to be because that's how I always was.
I don't feel those things anymore...well, I still feel some of those things - but not as severely. And I've even taken to when seeing myself in an unflattering posture in the mirror or window, I just take it for what it is...it's just the me of right now...but I'm changing that. There's a quiet confidence that's developing with that mode of thinking that I haven't ever felt before...and I kindof dig it...I kindof dig it a lot.
My moods are better! My thinking seems clearer. I have more energy and more pep in my step. I feel accomplished after I've done my walking for the day. And I feel proud of myself. It was funny today because I was out doing my walk, and I got around the track as many times as I usually do,...but when I got to what would normally be the end of my walk I decided "I've got one more in me." And I set off around the track for one last time. As I rounded the last corner to walk up the biggest hill on the track for the last time today, the greatest of the great songs started playing on my iPod...
The song is all about making it up your mountain - whatever it is - and celebrating that you've done it. I'm not done climbing my mountain, but I'm over the first hill.
That's right folks...I fucking did it!!
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